Since ancient times, China has circulated many impressive folk sayings, but one of them, “it is better to marry a widow than a wife” is rarely known.In our cognition, “widow” is at a disadvantage in marriage, and “birth wife” is even less popular than the widow, so what is this so-called “birth wife”?The term “wife born from the afterlife” was first put forward by Li Ling, a general in the Western Han Dynasty.It is recorded that “the old mother died in the hall and gave birth to her wife.”Here, “born wife” and “old mother” opposite, refers to the young wife.”The Book of Han” also explains this, “Zi Qing’s wife was younger and more married.”In the process of fighting against the Huns, Li Ling was betrayed and unfortunately became a prisoner of the Huns, but he did not yield. Although he was in the Huns, his heart was tied to the Han Dynasty.However, the suspicious Emperor was worried that Li Ling had betrayed him, so he executed the three tribes without discriminating. Li Ling was so sad that he could not accept the fact that he had been abandoned, so he became an official of the Xiongnu and married one of them.It took several days before Emperor Wudi finally came to his senses and wanted to take Li Ling back to Han. However, as time passed, Li Ling no longer had the passion to be loyal to the han dynasty.This means that the old mother has passed away and the young wife has remarried and there is no need to go back.This is the original meaning of “sheng Wife”, “sheng”, which means young, young.But many ancient words have changed their meanings over time, and “begetting a wife” is no exception.The difference between “widow” and “begotten wife” “begotten wife” later also referred to a single woman whose husband was still alive, and gradually extended to a woman whose husband had abandoned her.The biggest difference between this and a widow is that the birth of a wife is driven out of her husband’s family while he is still alive, which means there are controllable factors, while a widow is out of irresistible external factors, that is, the death of her husband to become a widow.Compared with “born wife”, the meaning of “widow” is easier to understand and has never changed much. “Widow” means single and lonely, and refers to a woman whose husband has died, also known as “widow” and “widow”.”Poem · Xiaoya · Da Tian” has written, “he has left bing. this has stagnate ears, yi widow’s benefit.”Women were in an extremely low position in the ancient feudal society, and the status of the widow is “a lower level”.Due to the death of her husband and ancient people’s preference for superstition, many people labeled widows as “kefu” and were bullied by all.They are not welcome in her husband’s house, even when they return to her mother’s house, and their fate is miserable, like fish on the chopping block, they can only be slaughtered.Some widows also remarry, but they have a bad reputation and find it difficult to remarry. There is a folk saying that “a widow’s door is full of trouble”, and many people regard widows as adulteresses, secretly assuming that they can’t stand the long night and have no company, so they will not refuse anything.But even a widow so vilified is in a better position than a begotten wife, and many times men prefer a widow to a begotten wife, hence the saying, “Better a widow than a begotten wife.”The reasons are as follows: The first husband’s wife is a woman abandoned by her husband. Outsiders will inevitably guess that the reason behind this is that the wife is unfaithful in marriage, or the wife has problems in marriage and breeding ability, or the wife has problems in character.In short, people with prejudice tend to point the finger at women, who must have some problems since they have been abandoned.Widows, on the other hand, were not divorced while their husbands were still alive, so they should not have much problem with their conduct.In addition, a small number of women voluntarily gave up their husbands to become wives. Although women had a low status in feudal times, there were still cases where women “abandoned” their husbands, and such brave women were arrogant and stubborn in the eyes of others.They were seen as violating the rules that women “should obey,” making it difficult for rebellious women to find families willing to accept them, because no one knew if they would not be dissatisfied with their new family and “abandon” their husbands again.In addition to the prejudice of the husband’s family, passers-by may also have some opinions about the birth of a wife. The gossiping neighbors who love to make fun of the birth of a wife in order to add some “fun” to their life, it is common to make fun of the birth of a wife in daily life, and make wild guesses.The in-laws may not care at first, but over time, suspicion will inevitably arise.More tragically, life may not be easy for some of the women who reluctantly remarry.In order to ensure that the woman’s conduct is not in any way improper, the family of the remarried wife will closely watch over them, and even monitor their every move, in order to prevent them from behaving as “out of line” as in the previous marriage.Modern marriage and love view but we can not deny that, “prefer to marry a widow, not to marry a wife” as a common saying there will naturally be some truth, otherwise it will not spread to the present.Discard any prejudice and look at the problem dialectically, whether the man abandons the woman, or the woman abandons the man, both more or less have problems.Fortunately, in the 21st century, with the rapid development of society, such unequal views on marriage and marriage are gradually disappearing. With the gradual rise of women’s status, men and women are gradually becoming equal in love and marriage, and women are no longer the image of submissive and oppressed before.It is undeniable that this is a benefit of social progress, as the chances of each person finding happiness again have increased and the social prejudice against those who remarry has weakened.Although there are still some old-school people with outdated ideas, the momentum of new ideas will not be reduced.More and more people accept the idea of marriage equality, no matter whether “to have a wife” or “to have a husband”, they have the right and courage to pursue happiness again.The conclusion “prefer to marry a widow, not a birth wife”, maybe some people think it has its own reason, but more hope that the future marriage of both parties can pay attention to the person they see, just like that sentence said, “I hope you believe me in your eyes, not in other people’s eyes.The birth of a wife is not as horrible as we think, and widows should not be looked down upon and stigmatized.