Experience shows you how important it is to put yourself in the driver’s seat


As an only child, I was stubborn and proud before I got married.In the eyes of others, I was a girl, worthless, especially in the countryside, a popular place for old people to show off their children.There are a lot of people waiting to see my parents laugh?Before I got married, they talked about their daughter behind my back. If you look at his daughter, sooner or later she would run away with a man. If you look at his family, they only have one daughter.After I got married, people said, what is the use of home again, raising a child is not others.Because of this, my parents were always taken to the ditch by others, and I did not suffer less.My husband was not less by my mood made very unhappy, the more I think the worse, the worse I think, imperceptibly with others.Unfortunately, I wanted to find a son-in-law for my parents, but I did not expect to meet her husband, who has only a son and a sister.Finally, I failed to fulfill my promise to my parents. They were sad and I was unhappy.You will not be happy and will not get what you want.In the first year of marriage, he was laughed at by his uncle, I have never forgotten uncle said, you two sides of the four old people, look how you, I still see.At the beginning is naive, four old people have what, is not afford to raise, later found to be a real headache.Dad was extremely stubborn, coupled with the death of his brother, he was like a madman, said nothing to listen to what is useless.My family is a little better off. I get married without asking for anything. We live with my parents.My parents-in-law didn’t have any money and couldn’t help us, so my parents inevitably had a little opinion.It is impossible for them to live together now, four old people, four different ideas, to tell you the truth, the first two years of my marriage, I did almost fall apart.My father was easily angry, and I had to spend not only money but also thought to take care of my parents-in-law.At first, trying to make everyone happy ends up exhausting yourself, and they’re still unhappy.After that, I just ignore them and focus on me, and I and husband of the first, it is important to have good be every time the holidays, we go out to travel, we can plan, again asking them to go or not, who are going to, what don’t go, and wherever they go or not, we will open happy heart go out to play.Regardless of whether they are happy or not, we will spend the whole year together, and our children will not be the victim of accompanying them. We take them wherever we go.In recent years, there are few conflicts in our family. The elderly on both sides are happy and feel that we are filial.Put yourself in the leading position, so as not to be disorderly, not to be led by others’ emotions, nor to cater to others, others are not satisfied and feel lost.Live as you like.If you focus on others, you will work yourself to death and never know what your own purpose is.A few days ago we went to see the house, the first time I went to see the eighteen layer, originally quite satisfied, a come back, colleagues said, do not buy, eighteen layer represents eighteen layers of hell, unlucky.I continued to look, people said the 14th floor is not good, the number of 4 represents death, also not good.Then I went to pick out another one and said the orientation was bad and the lighting was bad.I finally see a suitable in all aspects, and someone said that we have to buy the existing house, the house is now very dangerous, accidentally rotten tail, unable to deliver the house.Well, if you take all that out of the way, there are still people who say, don’t buy a house now, because when house prices go down, you’re going to lose money, and wait.So different people give different opinions and have different requirements, and if you don’t have your own standards, when you go to the house, you have to meet all of those requirements.You probably won’t remember why you bought the house in the first place after you’ve seen so many, and no matter who you choose, you’ll get a fine place anyway, and that will leave you depressed for a long time.If I first set my own standards, for example, I want to buy a house for my children to go to school, then I will buy a house closer to the school, how much do I buy, what is the requirement for lighting?So as soon as I see that it meets the standards I want, I will decide that the house is mine to live in, and it must be up to me whether I like it or not. What other people say is nobody else’s business, right?There is a common saying that no matter how well you do, someone will always like you, and someone will always dislike you. So why should we be liked by others and not ourselves?The most important thing for us to do is to put ourselves in the driver’s seat, whether it’s in a relationship with a spouse, a friend, or in a social relationship.Have own idea, when listening to other people’s opinion next, good we adopt, bad give up, decorate oneself program perfect.Reflect on yourself in every experience, improve yourself, let yourself become more assertive, more judicious, more decisive, so that you will not be led by the nose by others.May each of us meet a better self in the temper of life.

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